Tears & Tantrums

Oh today. I am not sure if it is because Layne has been exceptionally misbehaved, or that a friend's deployed husband is currently home on leave ... but today, has been hard as hell. I've cried more than not, and my patience with Layne has gone out the window. Everyone says, "Be strong." I'm trying so hard to be strong, but 5 months without your husband is not the easiest thing. I feel more alone than I ever have in my life. Which then, makes me feel selfish, because at least I have Layne. Jordan is the one who is really "alone". I'm trying my very BEST to be as strong as I can. 

Layne's tantrums are out of hand lately. It may be terrible 2's early. It is so frustrating when people say, "It's probably because he misses his daddy." You don't think I don't KNOW that! Really. 

It amazes me some people in my family and those I thought were friends- Don't call, Don't show up. This deployment has really shown me who is "there" for me & my family. It has shown me who I can really count on. Jordan and I moved to Indiana to be close to family. Weeks like this I think I would be just as happy on a beach, and would probably see everyone just as often. Sad, Harsh, but TRUE! That's just what we might do when Jordan comes home... move to the beach. A fresh start for my family. 

I am thankful for the friends and family that I have. The ones that have been here for us, have really been here. I am thankful that I have a strong husband who constantly reminds me of my strength and our love. I am grateful for my sweet baby boy, who may misbehave, but at the end of the day is the most amazing person in this world.