Movie delayed, cleaning started. I cleaned and cleaned and organized, cleaned some more. Finally, at 4AM, I headed to bed. 7AM came very early for myself and little Layne. We anxiously got up, dressed, and headed to the airport. My emotions were very mixed. I was anxious to see my husband, ready for this whole deployment to be over, but scared that his feelings toward me had changed or worse ... that we had changed and would no longer mesh. Prayer, that was my only answer... well, that and some much needed anxiety medication. His arrival was surreal. Layne was a little standoffish at first, but once he realized that Daddy wasn't leaving for awhile, he got used to him again.
Now that he is home, things are a work in progress. The military is so structured, and go, go, go. Layne and I had gotten used to being lazy, sleeping in, and just enjoying each other. I find my husband picking up toys that Layne hasn't finished playing with, doing dishes before our food is gone, and not relaxing one bit. I am exhausted trying to keep up, to say the least. We are working to come up with a compromise, and praying that God helps us do so. Everyday gets a little bit easier, but it has only been a week. The military tries to prepare you for the feelings that come with deployments and homecomings, but it's hard to explain until you are there, in the moment. Communication is key. We relied so much on communication while he was away that we have to get used to face to face "talking" again.
Layne is testing us in every single way that he can. We are working on changes in discipline and routines that we as a family feel are best. It doesn't help that Mr. Layne is almost 2 and hitting those dreaded "terrible two's" at full speed!
I must say, as much as I dreaded it ... we have all changed. 11 months doesn't just pick up right where you left off. Layne has changed and learned so many things. My parenting has changed with lessons as a first time parent, and Jordan has to regain his role in parenting and being the head of the household. I am learning to let go of doing it ALL and be willing to accept his help. He is learning to offer his help and trying to see how I have done things. We are attempting to communicate well if something that the other does that we might not agree with.
I have to accept that not everything that Jordan doesn't agree with means I was doing it "wrong". We are learning, and with every challenge, our marriage gets stronger. Don't get me wrong, some days are already frustrating, but we are blessed and thankful.
I am thankful for prayer and support, but mostly, I am thankful that the Good Lord brought my husband home and our beautiful family back together. Praise God.
*This face makes the exhausting 11 months worth it.*
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