SOON, Mr. Bull comes home on leave from Iraq. At that point we will have been apart from him for over 6 months. We could not be happier that he gets to come home... but with that comes worries. In a half a year's time, people change so much. People change so much in a normal setting, he is in a war zone.
My fears are mainly this: That Layne will not recognize Jordan, that we will not "mesh" as tho we did before, that our new schedules will not fit the other's, but mostly... that it will be harder to say "goodbye" a second time.
Nevertheless, we are cleaning and getting the house in tip top condition. Layne and I are both going to be getting fresh haircuts. New clothes will probably be welcomed. :)
Some days, like today, I have to remember that Layne doesn't understand that we only have roughly a month to get things together and ready for daddy. All he wants to do is play. I found myself frustrated and overwhelmed today, not because of Layne. I was frustrated that I am doing this all by myself. I know that it's nobody elses job to clean my house and help me... but it seems that so many are eager to "help" out when the spotlight is shining on them. That light goes out and poof, so does the "support" system. Perhaps this is just part of "being an adult".
I am a strong person, I know that. I can get through anything with the help of my God. Sometimes, I just wish I didn't have to be so strong every single day.
Everyone will know when Jordan is here, although I will be away from all technology during that time. Just please, wish us luck on the "goodbyes" ... for a second time.
Again, I feel your frustrations! It seems like the help is often there and ready when there's a crisis (or it helps to make someone else look good to help). Don't get me wrong~ those times are so important! But it does seem like once the initial crisis is over and life returns to normal for everyone else, we are left feeling alone and sometimes even abandoned. I feel for you hon, and I empathize. All I can say is, God is good, all the time. Even when things are rough and our perspective is skewed. Love you!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm often up late- feel free to call or message me on FB.