They are beautiful, right? Of course they are.
But, do they go to bed on time, eat all of their dinner, listen to Mama when Mama gives direction, clean up their toys (or anything for that matter), get along, be nice to the dog, sit at the table for every meal, hold hands, sing and dance..... I am usually lucky to get a couple of these a day. The point I am getting at is, it is not all fun and games being a mama. Sometimes (FB especially) it may seem like this Mama has everything together. Do I have perfect children? Yes, they are perfect for me. Do they scream in the store for an overpriced toy that I refuse to buy them? Yes... and I still refuse.
I contemplated different topics for today's blog post. I considered so many different, sweet, charming subjects. But, the truth is... this is real life. I want this blog to help other Mama's, who might be havning the same HARD as he** day. That is exactly what today was. It was so hard, I questioned God's decision in making me a Mama... more than once. Yes, you read that right. I would never give up my babies, but sometimes I do wonder if I am the best person to be their Mama.
So, what happened today you might wonder?
Layne opened candy at CVS and shoved the wrapper down his pants so that I would HAVE to buy it... he is too smart for his own good. I obviously bought it, and threw it away on the way to the car. He was NOT going to win... right? That's the right thing to do? Am I positive... not a chance.
I was getting Hudson dressed and came back to the living room, the silent living room. Where was Layne? This happens way too often for panic to set in yet... check the backyard, no Layne. Check the front yard, no Layne. Neighbors house, no Layne. Insert panic, major panic. He was at the other neighbors house, playing with toys in her living room. Before you freak, we live on a dead end and he is ALWAYS at the neighbors... I tell him to come home and have to chase him blocks to fireman carry him back to his room for timeout.
Hudson has had the very worst diarrhea and diaper rash, accompanied with cutting three teeth at one time. He is just a peach, still smiling though. He decided to feed his entire lunch to the dog in the time it took me to walk to the stove and make my plate. My plate, obviously, became his new plate.
This all happened before noon. NOON. These are just the highlights too. Not including the tantrums, fighting, kicking the dog, spilled milk, toy throwing normal of our day.
I am NOT complaining about being a SAHM. I am very blessed to be with my kids every single day, most days. Days like today make me question staying home. Maybe they would act better if they were in daycare and not with Mama all day? Maybe they resent me for staying home with them? Maybe, maybe, maybe...
After Jordan came home from a long day of academy, tired and wanting to rest, I mowed the lawn, trimmed the fence, watered the plants, made dinner, baths, both boys in Mama's bed for a cuddle (hence the darling picture at the top of the page), and put them both to bed... with a husband not far behind. I could have very easily went to bed with them, leaving the dishes, trash to be taken out, toys picked up, and this glorious blog post unfinished... but my key to surviving this SAHM thing is time to myself. This is my time, quiet time for Mama. HGTV playing in the background, keys clicking on my laptop, dog snoring at my feet... My TIME!
Which reminds me, I need to find more of this so called "my time." Perhaps I will start that tomorrow, ha. Perhaps.
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